This whole week has been a little off for me. I have always accepted that I am a touch different and that my mom knew me better than just about everyone. The best way to describe me has always been, in one word, chaotic. I have slowly learned to love the mess that I am, but it has been a process for me. My mom had no, process she always loved me and she always “got me”. As I've gotten older so many of her lessons and bits of advice have begun to make sense, and I hope that she knew I would figure it out some day. If anything I hope that she knew that she made me the happy, if a bit wonkie, woman I am today. As the anger of earlier years melts away I hope that she knew how much of a part she had in the person I would become.
There's still an angry child living inside me that stomps my feet and pounds my fists when I think about losing her, but we're working on it. I see people buying last minute Mother's Day gifts with a look of annoyance and I so wish that I still had that annoyance.
As we close on a bittersweet day I sit and smile at the kids I have the honor of raising, and wince at the terror of a child I was. What an amazing person I was gifted as a mom. Happy Mother's Day Linda Lee, you are still the best, and I am still working on the project you started 🙂